Tired & emotional

Tomorrow my husband returns to work.  He works away in the week and is only home at weekends.  This is a fairly newish development and it's something we are still adjusting to.  We're both on edge tonight.  Bickering, circling around the fact that we both aren't looking forward to tomorrow morning.  Inevitably he will in about half an hour he will start stressing about having to get up at 5.30 in the morning for the drive up north.  

We have just had to most ridiculous row about something and nothing.  There is a subtext which we are skirting.  The implication is that it is I not necessity that is making him work away and so every argument is peppered with 'I could just quit'.  There was also an accusation regarding the eating of some Cadburys animal biscuits that we shared with a cup of tea earlier - which has been taken as a sign that I am somehow nervous about the impending arrival of the treadmill on Thursday.

This is the most ridiculous thing I have heard so far.  The biscuits were eaten because they were there to be eaten (isn't that always my problem?), because they accompanied my cup of tea.  I do not fear the treadmill.  Yes I will have no more 'excuses' as why I can't go to the gym like 'there is no-one to look after the children' or 'I have no time as when I'm not looking after the children I am at work'.  Yes, I did once (about 4 years ago win a membership to the local gym & I didn't utilise it much - mostly because I didn't have any friggin childcare).  Yes it is coming and yes I have no excuses and yes I will be using it.

I am tired today & hormonal & I am not relishing the thought of my husband being away.  I am trying to be positive about it and so if anyone asks me about it I'm breezy & say we're taking it a week at a time.  It doesn't mean that I want him to go, I just don't see the point in us both stressing.

He's just come back downstairs from putting the kids to bed in a kinder mood. It's grown up time & he is trying to wheedle back into my affections before bed.  I can read him like a book. There had better be a bit more making up than that if you think things are headed in that direction.

Nearly new year resolve

Next year I turn 40. I do not wish to celebrate in big knickers. This year coming I resolve to lose weight.
Today we purchased a treadmill, it arrives next week. No more excuses, no using it as an airer. I will get fitter.
I am doing this for me.